A deficiency in communication, however, is in reality something that could be solved relatively simply and among the most effective directions to solve it is to arrange communicating rules. This entails guidelines that would help oneself better the effectiveness of your communicating as a couple.

1. Utilize A Speaking Item- One of the main problems with effective communication is that couples tend to speak at the same time, trying to get their points across. This leads to them being unable to hear and take in what the other is saying, therefore making it more difficult to resolve the issue they are facing. Instead of speaking at one time, have an item (such as a stick or a shell) and use it as the speaking item. When someone is speaking they will hold this item and the other is only allowed to sit there and listen. Once the first person is finished with what they have to say it is then time to pass the item to the listener, who will now become the speaker. It is very important that you do not speak unless you are holding the item. This will allow for each to get their points across as well as listen closely at what your partner is saying.

2. Stick To The Subject- Many times when a couple tries to communicate they start bringing up other issues from the past. They have such a history together that one thing leads to another and then finally back into an argument. Addressing only one issue at a time can really help to focus the communication so that both partners are on the same page.

3. Wait Before You Speak- When a problem arises couples often want to discuss it then and there, and this can cause for a very heated argument, as both will be agitated and defensive. Instead, create a specific day and time where you can sit down and discuss the issues that arise during the week. This gives you and your spouse a change to think about the issues and what you would like ot communicate to your spouse. This will allow you to both discuss all the issues rationally and without getting into a heated argument.

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A- One thing that you need for a successful marriage is to ALWAYS treat one another with respect. Although you may hear that love is the foundation for every marriage, there can not be a feeling of love, without a feeling of respect for each other. When there is no respect in the marriage you will find that there will be a lack of communication and therefore a breakdown in the marriage relationship that you are trying to build up.

B- Have you ever looked at an elderly married couple and wonder how they have dealt with each other for so long? The answer is simple, they are each others BEST friend. Your spouse needs to be someone that you trust with your life, feel secure with and share your deepest secrets and desires. It is simple to share a bed and a home with someone, however having a meaningful relationship is not that simple. When you and your spouse are each others best friend you have the main ingredient for a long lasting, healthy marriage.

C- Always be willing to CARRY your spouse up the difficult hills of life, as well as being willing to allow your spouse to carry your at your times of need. Everyone faces a personal tragedy in their life and during those times it is important to have someone that is strong for them.

S- Marriage is the most SACRED part of your relationship. It should be in the most important aspect of your life and nothing should every take priority above it. When you treat your marriage as something very special and unique you are setting yourself up for a very happy life with your spouse.

If you are experiencing marriage problems, log onto www.lightyourfire.com immediately. We will help you avoid divorce, and and remove the need for you to look up save my marriage on the internet.

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